by Sable
take me as I am.
the arch of my back as I stand upright.
the boldness in my face
the smooth touch of every curve
take me as I am.
with every imperfection to my acknowledgement
& even those I can?t admit
take me as I am
embrace my individuality, my wisdom, my youth,
& divine spirituality
take me as I am.
no need to curve my tongue, I make my mistakes?
for I am still young
take me as I am.
only my god is the judge of me
for I am what I set myself to be
take me as I am.
watch how i grow,
the things I accept, the things i know?
I am only one person?true to myself
never the need to hide
for I am what I am, and who I am is me?
never duplicated; one of a kind
as you can surely see
take me as I am.
Category: Issue 40 – Summer 2009
by Hakim
The bus was late and a I had no clue so was my fate
I still had time to smoke some weed to start off my day
All the sudden cops all over the place like somebody called ?um
Though I had dreams and aspirations Allah chose to stall?um
Before I knew it I was beaten and confused
I chose my ?homeboy? to confide to ?bout my blues
We went to Sacramento to start a life anew
In a months? time you?ll never believe the things I got into
The thing that strikes me the most which I?ll never forget
Is when a man nearly lost his life ? this I truly regret
My hands were covered with blood and what was I to do
I prayed to Jesus cause at the time he was the only God I knew
To my surprise there was a greater God whom I didn?t know
He saw the hurt , wrath , and silence which I couldn?t show
My prayer answered, but there was still something very wrong
Every night I dreamed of my death and blackened songs
Three years later I found imprisoned
I was told I?d get out in eight years but fate didn?t listen
Another life lost , my grandma , how come I didn?t see it
May she rest in peace ,but it should have been me to go , I mean it
So the question of , ?what did I do wrong?? kills my Mom inside
Cause it was me not her an Allah know that I?ll never know why
I chose to take my anger out on someone else
And now I?ve hit the corner and I?ve ran into myself
Though I had dreams and aspirations Allah chose to stall?um
All the sudden cops all over the place like somebody called ?um.
by Suzy Mellen
When the judge sentenced me, I thought he said 25-to-Life. After a few months of being in prison, one of my roommates read my face sheet. She said to me, Mellen, you were sentenced to LIFE WITHOUT THE POSSIBILITY OF PAROLE. I said, What does that mean?? She explained to me that I would never go home. That I would die in prison. I was in a state of shock then, just as I was throughout my trial.
I could have become bitter, paralyzed, and powerless to the point of being crippled because of the shock of getting convicted of a horrible crime with which I had no connection. The suffering and pain attacked me emotionally. How could this have happened to me? I was desperate for an answer. That is when God became so real to me. When I was stripped from my life, my family and my home and left with NOTHING, I realized that God was all I needed. It’s been one long journey and a very painful one. The tendency is to want to give up especially when your thoughts are, I cant do it anymore!
That’s when I started learning about myself. My spirit within gave me strength, and yes, even JOY to keep going. Something inside moved me. I became motivated to turn everything negative into something positive and powerful. Prison wanted to break me. That is when I embraced the life system that tried to destroy me. I made my life sentence my friend, as opposed to my enemy.
In my wildest dreams, I could never imagine God would use me in such a way. I might be in prison, but prison is NOT in me! We only have one journey in this life, so I want to make it count and make a difference to help others that are facing life sentences!
Written for my lifer’s group